Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Best Confession

Same candles. Just without you, without lighting it up.


It was so sweet and romantic. But I'm sorry I had to ruin it. I just wasn't ready. I thought I was before this. Sorry for leading you into it. I really wanted to say yes, I want to try. But my mind was just so messed up. I couldn't bring myself to say yes even though I wanted to.

Just so many things going through in my mind. I'm going NZ soon. You said it's okay.. But I don't think it'll be. I'm only looking for relationships that will last. I'm still trying to consider whether I should take the risk with you or not.

It IS your first. I don't want to ruin it for you. I don't want your first relationship to be a long distant relationship. I didn't know a guy like you had such a sweet and gentle side. I was so not comfortable last night. We've been friends for quite awhile and I just didn't expected those things you did and said. Are you really ready to commit in a relationship? Because I'm really worried.. All those times you've been single and flirtatious. Now because of me you wana settle down? Wow.. =) Just be sure, because I can be a very sensitive girlfriend;)

I hope you're still gona talk to me. I hope you won't avoid me =/

But I was really happy and thrilled. I need to think it through. Will you wait?


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Physics is NOT my thing

That's the (don't know how many)th time i've said that today. GAHH.. I hate physics. My worse subject of all. Well at least now I don't have to deal with it for a couple of weeks now =)

The things I will do when I'm having exam stress and panic attack:
1) Eat, eat and eat!
Seriously! I have no idea what's wrong with me. I've been munching on snacks throughout studying. I JUST CANT HELP IT! Even if i just had my dinner, i can still munch. GAH.. i'm growing into a fatty boom.=(

2) Hoping/Jumping/Dancing around the house
Yeap. That's what I do to stay awake=)

3) Being vain
Uhuh. That's because i have those long mirror right on the wall and my desk is placed really near it. So i will just push myself behind with my chair and start admiring myself in the mirror. Starts tying my hair into different styles or just starts doing silly expression.

4) Screams in high octave ~DO~!
I did that today before the starting of Physics paper 2! It really helps to release stress though=)

What about you? =)

Sunday, May 16, 2010

What's Next?

I wana believe it is true.

I wana feel special, appreciated. There were times when I was upset, but I never show it. In the end I put on a smiley face. You've tested my patience and tolerance, I've passed. Now what?

Every small problems that happened makes you think that its not possible. You give up so easily. Whereas I'm still trying my best. Because I really wana try.

I'm afraid too. Sometimes I don't dare to tell what's really on my mind or what I'm feeling. That's because I'm scared you'll get fed up or annoyed. I'c scared its not what you wana hear. I'm scared you'll just walk off.

So now I'm being so very careful.. and so very patient. I don't want to rush things. Until you're really sure, tell me. Because what I feel for you is real. Is yours real too?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Will We Meet Again?

There are so many things circling around my head now.. =S

Firstly,

It's not going anywhere.. Yet, I'm still not willing to cut you off. But I'm just afraid in the end, you'll tell me we're just friends again. You've said that to me twice. But we're now back to square one again. You do know how I feel for you, but what about you? I feel something. But I don't wana guess and give false hope to myself. I want to hear it from you..

Secondly,

I just realised I only have half a year left in Malaysia. I'll be gone for more than 4 years. or maybe not even coming back. I have so many things yet to do. So many missions. I can't just leave my friends, family and my comrades here just like that. I don't wana go.. Its my last year of high school, I'm loving it. I don't wana lose this feeling.

When I go, I'll lose all of you.. Friendships are hard to be kept forever. I'll lose you too..

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue



[baby i never seen someone with your body
you make me wanna get a little notty
hey baby come in get it it's all yours
baby baby~
tell me what you what you waiting for]

Saturday, May 1, 2010

I Just Can't Stop Smiling





I just can't stop the curving of my lips. ;) & YOU know why